Explaining Leafs Losses

An old buddy of mine, who in a past life hated 'organized sports', is a big Toronto Maple Leafs fan. I'm not sure if he's a certified member of Leafs Nation or not, but I'm thinking any unquestioning support of a fumbling sports organization earns one an automatic blue card.

Last night's loss to the Pittsburgh Penguins prompted my pal to text me with "where's Batman when you need him?". It was late, I was tired, so it took a moment for me to make the connection.

I replied with some uncharacteristic sympathy:

" 'The Leafs are different this year.' Simon sprays tea through his nostrils as he giggles uncontrollably.

"You're the Exchequer of Leafs Nation and you have to address Parliament and explain the massive deficit."